i really want to believe.

as a six year old who attended mandatory high mass on every day except sunday, i need to let you know i tried. i REALLY tried to hear god. i listened and listened. trust me -the nuns, as much as i frustrated them- would have given me an “A” for effort. i just never heard anything. i still haven’t. which leads me to the democratic national convention.

the dems put on a great show. they pulled at the heartstrings, and were careful to mention all the necessary topics and keep hushed about the sensitive issues. michelle obama’s speech was masterful. bill clinton kicked serious ass with his math and logic. joe biden’s sharp tongue called out the lies sputtered in the republican national convention just last week. and then barack obama took the stage to accept the democratic nominee for president for the 2012 election.

yes, i am cynical. the obama presidency has disappointed me in many ways and in others was a fresh minty breeze. because i wasn’t in the room when the disappointing things went down, i can’t say if the president actually did put up a fight for the right thing. i have a sneaking suspicion that with all the republican roadblocks, he had to sacrifice some legislation to get other legislation passed. seriously, what the man has been through these past four years. i can’t believe his skin isn’t grey too. the GOP has done everything in its power to keep obama from succeeding. me? i think it’s the elephant in the room. racism. but that’s for another post.

the minty fresh stuff was really great: the repeal of DADT, obamacare, support of same sex union, the lily ledbetter act among others. and michelle brought back fabulous to the the world of FLOTUS. honestly, i think she’s the best FLOTUS ever. she’s beautiful, she tackles important issues, she’s poised, she shops at target as well as with designers, she insists her children clean their rooms. i like shelly-o a big lot.

the gist of this post is that i want to believe what i heard, because i do want the world to be a better place. unfortunately, i live in a country that influences the rest of the planet like no other, so what goes on here sets the tone for much of the third rock from the sun. i want to believe in the democrats just like i wanted to believe in god.

the god thing didn’t quite work out, because, as i said, i didn’t hear anything. but the democrats have another chance. they’re the best choice we’ve got, so i’ll vote for another four years. i do, however, hope to dog that the republicans back off and allow some real work to get accomplished. the world needs some good energy or it’s going to implode long before its due date. if the republicans win, we will know the mayans were right, just not exactly on schedule. or perhaps the mayans meant the beginning of the end in 2012.

hoping that’s not the case. and that what i heard will become action.

sherman and mr. peabody report way back machine stolen by GOP

i just read where a GOP attendee threw nuts at an african american camera woman and said “this is how we feed the animals.” while i cannot verify it’s accuracy, or that the attendee was ejected from the convention, the incident does speak to the entire paradigm of the GOP platform, and if we were living in 1940.a strange paradigm it is, considering we are in the year 2012, and the GOP is dredging up past beliefs like they were grave robbers scratching the dirt to unearth issues from long ago. abortion, gay marriage, immigration, education, social services…are all threatened to go up in the flaming flatulence that is the current plan should the republican party be elected in november.

mind, if that actually happens, i will be packing a few bags, buying a one way ticket to new zealand for myself, my husband and our pets, and we will abandon skull island, our home for the last eight years. because skull island is located in the buckle of the bible belt, it would be nice (and snarky) to donate it and its contents to a cause far removed from the christian right wing’s heart… perhaps a bed and breakfast that specializes in gay weddings, or a halfway house for immigrants who might need a bit of help adjusting to their new, incredibly prejudiced surroundings. perhaps a planned parenthood clinic for the neighborhood would be a heavy liberal touch.

of course, i am repulsed by most of the platform, but one thing i really don’t understand: why are rich while men so threatened by women? most of the soundbites coming out of GOP mouthpieces are specific to woman and their reproductive health. “no abortion. not even in cases of rape or incest.” “the woman’s body can just ‘shut down’ a pregnancy of legitimate rape.” “the rapist should have visitation rights once the child is born.” “some really great people have been born as a result of rape.” REALLY? and what about all these rapists? do any of them go to jail? does the baby/child need to be trolled to the prison where the rapist resides? and just who are these wonderful people born out of rape?

I much prefer to look forward and embrace progress, equality, tolerance. to wit, marriage is a legal commitment between two people. who cares if they are the same sex? and planned parenthood should have their coffers filled to the gills to inform young men and women about sex. clearly, they don’t know enough or there wouldn’t be so many teen pregnancies and abortions. i support planned parenthood and informative sex education in schools. i support birth control in any form, and believe that no one *wants* an abortion. also, i believe this country was founded by immigrants (my parents being great examples) with big ideas and dreams. that tradition should continue. i believe education should be available to everyone, regardless of their income. i believe teachers are vastly undervalued in this country and should be treated and remunerated as the heroes they are. i believe those that have more money should pay more taxes. LOTS more taxes. [it’s amazing to me how it’s okay for the 1% to get away with paying no taxes (and in many cases getting a tax break on something as ridiculous as a dressage horse) when the rest of the country pays dearly on social security, unemployment, state and federal taxes.]

and here’s the biggie: religion and government are two separate entities. don’t bundle them. i hate bundling. separation of church and state is a fuzzy issue as it is not mentioned specifically in the constitution. the first amendment begins to address the issue, but only by clarifying one cannot be persecuted for their religion. john lock’s social contract, the treaty of tripoli, thomas jefferson, james madison and john f. kennedy all addressed the issue but the raveling edges remain. and the right wing fundamentalist christians are going to ride that parade float as long as they can.

mr. peabody, sherman and the way back machine

Who knows of Tommie Smith and John Carlos?

unless you were living and watching the 1968 summer olympics, you probably have no idea who either of these men are. for me, watching them on the medal stand –for the 200 meter dash, with black gloved hands raised in the black power salute– was a true learning experience. i realized i lived in a seriously and dangerously racist society. after their imbroglio of the olympics, the story of tommie smith and john carlos was rarely mentioned. (to learn more about these two brave men, read this terrific article from GOOD magazine.)

[below, the medal stand for the men’s 200 meter dash. l2r: peter norman (australia) silver medalist, tommie smith (usa) gold medalist, john carlos (usa) bronze medalist.]

it’s 2012 now, and one would hope racism would have ebbed by now; unfortunately it’s resurging and rearing its ugly head even more dangerously. with the presidential election coming up, i am seeing and hearing (i live near atlanta, ga) things that make me want to sit in a corner and just CRY. people i know are saying very racist and scary things on facebook. they don’t say them out loud or in conversation as there is an unwritten rule in the south: no one talks about religion or politics. it’s considered “impolite.” on facebook or unsaid, the racist undercurrent is like tinnitus: you can still hear the shrill sound that doesn’t end.

in 2008 i had such optimism about the future. i watched the inauguration of President Obama and the parade following, sobbing through hours of televised coverage. i was crying because i was so happy that FINALLY something happened in the united states with which i could connect, of which i could be proud. the country had elected a black president, and he and his family were smart, beautiful and likable. hope.

my biggest question about racism (then & now) is WHY?? why is racism still so prevalent? why is a black president so threatening to so many people? why do people think the color of one’s skin is equal to one’s worth? we should have learned by now. we should have left this nasty business behind long ago. for those still clinging to this outrageousness, i ask you to take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself WTF? give yourself an opportunity to stop hating. please stop hating.

prescience is best

to say the fifty shades of grey triology has sparked a sales spike in erotica is an understatement. of course all the assorted bits and bobs that go along with bdsm have realized sales increases too, but that’s to be expected. what is wonderful is that people are reading and reading and reading. and after reading, they want more.

my prescient friend brenda knight, (associate publisher of cleis press in san francisco) is quoted in TIME magazine as saying “we’re having a kinky moment”, referring to the sales increase at the sex-focused publisher. their sales have tripled in the last five months alone. the flood gates have now opened and people are “out” about reading erotica (even if they do purchase the e-book version.)

e. l. james’ (author of 50 shades) recent appearance at sdcc or comic-con, is further proof the erotica genre is now out and in the open. there are rumors she is writing another triology, this time from christian grey’s viewpoint. and then of course, a movie (or movies) are in the works: bret easton ellis in talks to write a screenplay for the wildly successful trilogy (my pick for christian grey: henry cavill and for ana steele: anne hathway.) and of course, hotels are offering 50 shades packages. (i understand there are satin ties and lubricant involved.)

this trend, i hope, will signal a change of heart amongst those who look at coitus as a purely procreative act. to reduce sex to such a myopic viewpoint does everyone a disservice. and i’m kinda thinking those people who preach it loudest are the same ones who could really use a good, long screw.

read more of the TIME article here: summer reading

below: some of cleis press’ best sellers of the moment. purchase here

       

doping, schmoping

with the london olympics just a kiss away, much attention has been paid to  performance enhancing drugs. so much is asked of athletes nowadays, it wouldn’t surprise me if they ALL doped. it’s sad competition is so hyper-firece that everyone seems to be doing it and an honest athlete doesn’t have a chance in hell of winning whatever contest in which they may be entered.

to wit, frank schleck, cyclist from luxembourg, tested positive for the diuretic Xipamide, which can be a masking agent for performance-enhancing drugs. he finished third in last year’s tour de france and his brother, andy, won the 2010 contest. at the time of the drug test, schleck was 18 minutes behind the leader, bradley wiggings (from the uk) and 12th in the overall standings. so if schleck *is* doping, and not even in the top 10, are the leaders doping more? or are they really better athletes?

[frank schleck (luxembourg) of team radioshack nissan, below]

and cyclists are oddly shaped creatures. they are stick insects with really strong legs. they have to keep their weight down to cycle faster. have you looked at any of them closely? they look emaciated. they look drawn, gaunt and pale. whilst cycling in the tour de france is likely one of the most demanding races ever conceived, one would think they would have the robust and healthy complexion of a superhero. is this pallor an artifact of doping? exhaustion?

i love to speculate. i do enjoy the tour de france, and am a fan of the schleck brothers. they have shown impressive teamwork and brotherly support in past races. it appears this mini scandal will spread and add more fuel to the lance armstrong fire. batten down the hatches, boys, you’re going to be under intense scrutiny.

so, sarah silverman, stephen covey and marissa mayer.

i posted it on twitter and facebook and i may as well post it here. i wish i had sarah silverman’s balls. she is proposing to sheldon adelson that he donate the $100 million (earmarked for the romney campaign) to president obama in exchange for a sexual favor that includes scissoring. the visuals alone from my words are starting to make me a bit ill. i admire ms. silverman’s fortitude, strength and ability to look the other way when it comes to politics.

on the other side of the ethical coin, stephen covey died today. of course there were tributes pouring in from everywhere, but i’ve never been a fan of the man. the planners and datebooks his retail establishments churn out are quite good, but business advice laced with the LDS morality and values? naw, i’m good. i don’t need seven steps to anything. to be clear, i believe to avoid any unpleasantness, religion should be kept separate from EVERYTHING. (i had to use shouty capitals because the religious right is trying to fold in christianity as part of government and i’m not having any part of that. apparently sarah silverman isn’t game for it either.)

and the best news for women of power everywhere: marissa mayer was named CEO of yahoo! today. she was quite influential as a google executive, where she helped shape the google of today. at thirty seven, this is kind of a big deal for the feminists and business women; she’s young and likeable. and she’s been an overacheiver, it seems, since birth. i wish her well and will watch her management of yahoo! with great interest. oh, and she’s pregnant with her first child! take THAT, glass ceiling!!

and today, my dear friend eorah myers passed away. she’s the friend whom i’ve been boo-hooing about for the last few days. of course i am sad, but she was really sick. she had cancer. and i found out from mutual friends that she was at peace with herself and the world. i was even able to get some messages to her before she passed via my friends mary ianucci and jimmy wilnewic. so she’s gone. but never ever will she be forgotten, as bright sparks rarely are. be upstanding and raise a glass to a dear friend of many: eorah!

keeping occupied

yesterday’s events are still heavy on my mind. mercifully, i have heaps of hobbies, interests and activities to keep my mind and hands busy. the fruits of my labor:

 

 

so now i have gotten the technique mastered, and i need to write and illustrate instructions for teaching this to others. actually, pictured are two different techniques (even though the end result is quite similar) so i have a few sets of directions to write. definitely not the fun part of the process, but a good problem to solve.

Standard

fuck cancer and the all the other diseases that take away loved ones

today a friend wrote me on facebook that one of our friends from art school had been in surgery and there was nothing they could do. she never told me she had cancer, and now she is on palliative care.

personally, i think it’s my selfishness that makes dealing with death so difficult. i don’t want people to leave me, or leave the planet. it’s hard to let go of someone. the irony is that i have no control over it, i have nothing to do with it.

and selfishness aside, people are going to die. that’s the only thing in life that is absolutely certain. and death is never going to be pretty. add to that all those pesky regrets…

we just don’t think death comes when it should. as we mature, we think it will be those who are older will go first. what a silly assumption to make, even for a child. people die when they die. no one knows when it will happen, and it’s final. one second a person is alive, the next they are gone for fucking ever. and there are no do-overs. 

annnnnnnnnd, she’s back.

today, like so many other days, i spent in front of my computer. i’m making a concerted effort to keep up with the social networking thing. i do this because i like it, but at this stage it’s becoming an unwieldy two year old toddler.

how is one supposed to keep up with facecrack, etsy, svpply, pinterest, twitter, tumblr, linked in and wordpress? it’s overwhelming. perhaps it would be more manageable if i aggregated with less detail and didn’t care so much about how things are presented. WHAT WHAT WHAT? yes, that would save time yet would also present my interests in a slapdash fashion. not exactly what i’ve ever wanted.

yes, OCD, perfectionism…they are here. but so is procrastination, fueled by the vast amount of things that interest me and those i want to share. it’s very strange that various people all over the world, who have never met me, who read my posts, tweets and blatherings on regularly. what makes this all so interesting to others than myself? i haven’t a clue. surely, if my parents would get over their computer-phobia, they’d show interest. but that is part of their job. what about all you other people out there?

time and again i’ve been told that people just LOVE reading my posts on facecrack. they don’t leave comments or even “like” them, they simply like to know what bold and racy shite is going to froth forth from my brain to my fingers to facecrack. fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, i wasn’t issued a “censor” mechanism at birth so i have a tendency to spout off often, and apprently spout colorfully.

so today, i shall merely write this wee essay, as i’ve spent the day organizing my thoughts about how to proceed with this plethora of communication avenues. and oh, jesus, i just remembered another site i love where one can make lists. my goal is to make a list of all my lists. but that might take a while.

also, i need to pay attention to “viewed from the floor”, a blog written by my pet miniature pig, mathilda. she’s been begging me to assist her as she’s grown so large her hooves are no longer effective on the human sized keyboards. and i suspect, being a porcine diva, she relishes the idea of having someone to dictate her thoughts and musings so they appear magically on her blog.

until my recovering teeth allow me to live a normal life (lots of dental surgery lately), i should have some time to sort my thoughts. all gazillion of them.

phoenix from the ashes or just a bunch of hot air?

Methinks it may be time to resurrect this old thing. I’ve even been ignoring my tumblr blah-g and all the blog rolls to which I subscribed. This snap brilliantly captures how difficult thinking and making decisions is for moi. très tragique, n’est-ce pas?

There have actually been some interesting and promising developments on the designer front, and I’ve opened a gallery and creative education space with my sister in our tiny hometown of crawfordsville, indiana. If early reports should predict our future success, we will have something the community wants and needs. creativeLAB is a great combination of self indulgence and community service. Starting a business is really time consuming, difficult and exhausting. Just ask my sister, Anne Sipahimalani. But you’ll have to wait until she wakes up.

Some of my ladder necklaces: