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fuck cancer and the all the other diseases that take away loved ones

today a friend wrote me on facebook that one of our friends from art school had been in surgery and there was nothing they could do. she never told me she had cancer, and now she is on palliative care.

personally, i think it’s my selfishness that makes dealing with death so difficult. i don’t want people to leave me, or leave the planet. it’s hard to let go of someone. the irony is that i have no control over it, i have nothing to do with it.

and selfishness aside, people are going to die. that’s the only thing in life that is absolutely certain. and death is never going to be pretty. add to that all those pesky regrets…

we just don’t think death comes when it should. as we mature, we think it will be those who are older will go first. what a silly assumption to make, even for a child. people die when they die. no one knows when it will happen, and it’s final. one second a person is alive, the next they are gone for fucking ever. and there are no do-overs. 

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annnnnnnnnd, she’s back.

today, like so many other days, i spent in front of my computer. i’m making a concerted effort to keep up with the social networking thing. i do this because i like it, but at this stage it’s becoming an unwieldy two year old toddler.

how is one supposed to keep up with facecrack, etsy, svpply, pinterest, twitter, tumblr, linked in and wordpress? it’s overwhelming. perhaps it would be more manageable if i aggregated with less detail and didn’t care so much about how things are presented. WHAT WHAT WHAT? yes, that would save time yet would also present my interests in a slapdash fashion. not exactly what i’ve ever wanted.

yes, OCD, perfectionism…they are here. but so is procrastination, fueled by the vast amount of things that interest me and those i want to share. it’s very strange that various people all over the world, who have never met me, who read my posts, tweets and blatherings on regularly. what makes this all so interesting to others than myself? i haven’t a clue. surely, if my parents would get over their computer-phobia, they’d show interest. but that is part of their job. what about all you other people out there?

time and again i’ve been told that people just LOVE reading my posts on facecrack. they don’t leave comments or even “like” them, they simply like to know what bold and racy shite is going to froth forth from my brain to my fingers to facecrack. fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, i wasn’t issued a “censor” mechanism at birth so i have a tendency to spout off often, and apprently spout colorfully.

so today, i shall merely write this wee essay, as i’ve spent the day organizing my thoughts about how to proceed with this plethora of communication avenues. and oh, jesus, i just remembered another site i love where one can make lists. my goal is to make a list of all my lists. but that might take a while.

also, i need to pay attention to “viewed from the floor”, a blog written by my pet miniature pig, mathilda. she’s been begging me to assist her as she’s grown so large her hooves are no longer effective on the human sized keyboards. and i suspect, being a porcine diva, she relishes the idea of having someone to dictate her thoughts and musings so they appear magically on her blog.

until my recovering teeth allow me to live a normal life (lots of dental surgery lately), i should have some time to sort my thoughts. all gazillion of them.

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phoenix from the ashes or just a bunch of hot air?

Methinks it may be time to resurrect this old thing. I’ve even been ignoring my tumblr blah-g and all the blog rolls to which I subscribed. This snap brilliantly captures how difficult thinking and making decisions is for moi. très tragique, n’est-ce pas?

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There have actually been some interesting and promising developments on the designer front, and I’ve opened a gallery and creative education space with my sister in our tiny hometown of crawfordsville, indiana. If early reports should predict our future success, we will have something the community wants and needs. creativeLAB is a great combination of self indulgence and community service. Starting a business is really time consuming, difficult and exhausting. Just ask my sister, Anne Sipahimalani. But you’ll have to wait until she wakes up.

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Some of my ladder necklaces:

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always a good choice: oscar wilde.

“It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.”

“There is no sin except stupidity.”

“The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.”

“Those whom the gods love grow young.”

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”

“Who, being loved, is poor?”

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you may have noticed…

that i’ve been awol. i just haven’t been feeling the blah-g lately and i am regrouping. the blog is being redesigned while i figure out just exactly what purpose i want this blog to serve. until now, the blog has just been an outlet for the crazy stuff in my head, stuff that catches my eye, and comments on political and current events. the writing has been lackluster and the research practically nil. i’m going to change that, and i hope you will enjoy the new and improved blog once it arrives.

i’m not publishing a time frame for the new and improved m0d schm0d because i’m not really feeling schedules either.

thanks for coming back even though nothing new has been going on. i promise the new m0d schm0d version 2.0 will not disappoint.

until then, i am hoping iran’s good people will prevail, i will mourn the loss of michael jackson, keep abreast of the men’s spring 2010 fashion shows, keep my eyes peeled for great art, design and architecture and most of all, CHILL.

photobooth photoshop bw 09.06.09 iran green

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